I have been dwelling lately on the idea of sacrifice: how sacrifice seems fairly distant from what I know.

I'm reading the book, Walking the Bible and the author is literally walking through certain stories in the Bible to understand how the geography of land was important to the promises of God. And for some reason I cannot seem to separate my mind from the idea that Jesus once walked in this world, in this realm and it was in this world and this realm that He became sacrificed.

I have this massive heart that seems to swell up and love a little too much. And because my heart loves so much, it's always hard to let something go. So with this idea of love, I have been placing my mentality into Jewish tradition of slaughtering the lamb. And I try to imagine the love for an animal - raising it, knowing it's warmth and preciousness - and seeing it slaughtered to carry out the sacrifice. Maybe it's a little intense, and a little odd to be writing about on a blog, but I feel like Americans/people- place themselves far from the whole idea of sacrifice. Of course it's hard to understand Jesus dying for our sins, because when have we lost something to sacrifice? or atonement? It just seems to me that the phrase, "Jesus died for our sins" is thrown around just as much as the phony 'I'm good' phrase returned when you are passing by someone on the street.

I think too what is even more befuddling is that we are supposed to be able to explain this to people. Especially in such a liberal society.

hmmm

If there are any thoughts/comments I would be grateful to hear them.

You know... married life is pretty awesome. I recommend everyone try it... longterm.

I can't sleep, but of course I wouldn't be able to after taking a three hour nap today.

Anyway, I was thinking about how neat people are, and how much I think people are cool. Here's what reinforced my thoughts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm4AKCGrySk&feature=fvw

paste it into my youtube bar down below.

I'm sitting on the Bistro porch with my pooch enjoying my home-made arnold palmer - don't tell on me, but it is delicious. I am two weeks away from starting preschool, haha and I am pretty nervous. I started Caribou coffee, which all of you should come and visit me at my place of employment. Nothing is more glorious than creating and drinking every drink on the menu.

I have realized lately how serious I can be. My goal for the rest of summer is to joke as much as possible. Now, as you all know I am incredibly awesome, so I'll really have to try here.

G'night.

One, two, a one-two-three and...

I have never earned a lot of money, nor do I think I ever will. But the fact that my newest and most coolest job so far, is actually something I want to do - makes me so happy to be alive.

Just this past week I was interviewed to be a preschool teacher. Now, keep in mind, the majority of students I have taught have ranged from third to seventh grade.

Three and four year olds. This is my challenge.

So this means Mark and I will continue our lives together in Manhattan until May of 2010. CRAZY! So, in order to keep the man happy we got him a new desk and awesomely cool chair, which so happens to be called a "Premium Managers Chair." C'mon, I hope you chuckled at that title.


I should say too that the Bill Cosby show is my favorite.

So tell me people. What am I supposed to do with my time now that when I am done with work.... I don't have to study, or write a paper...

phenomenal.

I really want to start some quirky club up. Anyone knit out there? Let's get it together.

I love garage saling.

I do not like the Rolling Stone magazine.

I really want a job teaching.

and

my birthday is only days away...

Choices.

Lately, after a run with society, I have purposely sat myself down to examine the intensity of choice.

Last Thursday school was canceled on account of snow/rain/ice. Here in Manhattan, it was only slightly raining. I thought it was a lie. I was flummoxed at 2:00 when the sun was shining and it was 60 degrees. Someone made a choice for school to be canceled.

They say in education one of the best things to do for children, to let them expand their wings is to allow them choices. It is always recommended that those choices have structure. That there is some significance to those choices.

It is interesting to think about how many choices a day we are confronted with and how many paths we may take. AND I ALWAYS WONDER what would happen if I had made another choice.

A choice is so powerful, so utterly life changing no matter how small.

I get so frustrated seeing people obsess over things like Twilight, Beer, or power. Seeing people drool at the face of these actors, or quotes that seem to be profound, when there are so many countless profound things that the Lord has done and will do on this earth and we are watching Vampires try to love one another?

I understand some things are of pure entertainment and time fulfillment, but I cannot tell you how sad it would make me feel if I had not read a classic book and dirtied my time and mind with popculture garbage. Hmm. Maybe that is too intense, but of course we are all allowed our own standard of living. Which brings me to the next question: How are we to tell ourselves when something is morally wrong, that it is 'to each their own?' Where, in this melting pot of a nation, are we to set some standard. This is where Jesus comes in. To understand the morally correct response and way of living, this is why we are established in His ways. Some might ask, well, why Jesus, why not Mohammad? Because my friends, Jesus is the only living God, not asking us to sacrifice, to demean women, to try and live up to a 'God' like standard, and He is the purest form of love.

I feel often times that words are a road block and time is a nail in my tire. It is only a matter of words and time that we are allowed, and trying to translate the heart has never made much sense to me.

I guess what I am saying is what my husband has clarified so greatly. All sin is a perversion of something good; something God given.

Oh but that conversation is for another day. I'm sorry if I was confusing, or disappointing.

Peace & Love

I mean, I've heard of having a bad day, a bad couple of days but shoot. These past couple weeks take the cake. I think the devil is holding onto my heels and I'm draggin' him along. I'm not too sure what will shake this bad thing.

There really has been a lot of good in life too! I mean, so many sweet things are going on... and... well, I can't seem to keep focus on them.

I keep trying to sing this African song-

"I went to the enemy's house
AND I
TOOK BACK WHAT HE STOLE FROM ME! I,
took back what he stole from me, I
took back what he stole from me.

I went to the enemy's house
AND I
TOOK BACK WHAT HE STOLE FROM ME! I,
took back what he stole from me, I
took back what he stole from me -
He's under my feet,
He's under my feet
SATAN is UNDER MY FEET!"

*can't you picture me dancing and singing this in my house. I know. I'm nutso.

For all that is good and all that is worthless.

I've found that within a reasonable amount of time I have made the insane jump from college life to reality. It is insane how much I have had to adapt to and change my life for. I do wish I had more time to donate to my family.

sleep, sanity, tests, tears, hugs, pencils, paper, staples, puppies, music.

It seems as though I have come to an inevitable downward spiral of horrendous cooking. No, really, I'm sure it's not that bad, but it couldn't help to be thrown a bone here.

Damien Rice is so stinking good that I can't understand it. I can't use contractions in any of my writing for school, so here it is.



I feel I have been peeled from the college life and entered into a real world that does not include payment --MATTER OF FACT I am paying for it. Kind of frustrating.

I have so many broken thoughts, feelings.

I thoroughly enjoy 18 kiddos in a specific class.